I will find my way...

You took your coat off

and stood in the rain

You're always crazy like that

And I watched from my window

Always felt I was outside

looking in on you

You're always the mysterious one with

Dark eyes and careless hair

You were fashionably sensitive

But too cool to care

You stood in my doorway

with nothing to say

Besides some comment on the weather

Well in case you failed to notice

In case you failed to see

This is my heart bleeding before you

This is me down on my knees, and...

These foolish games are tearing me apart

And your thoughtless words are

breaking my heart

You're breaking my heart.

You're always brilliant in the morning

Smoking your cigarettes and talking over coffee

Your philosophies on art, Baroque moved you

You loved Mozart and you'd speak of your loved ones

As I clumsily strummed my guitar

Well, excuse me

guess I've mistaken you for somebody else

Somebody who gave a damn

Somebody more like myself

These foolish games are tearing me apart

And your thoughtless words are

breaking my heart

You're breaking my heart.

You took your coat off

and stood in the rain

You're always crazy like that

Thursday, April 28, 2005

illegal ---> legal

yesterday din really celebrated my 18th bday (yeah i can do almost anything now!), but still i enjoyed myself alot. juz asked gek ling n sohie out for some shopping. actually wanted to look for some casual tank tops for sch but din manage to find any i like. suddenly have e urge to get some accessories. got myself a pair of ear studs coz i fear tt my hole will close (1 of them kinda did n it almost made me gotta go pierce again). looking 4 rings as well. saw 2 black ones at heerens. will b going back there to get 1 of them if i cant find any better ones. both of them bought a white tube top for my bday. like it alot. actually wanted to buy it myself after trying it on but i din wanna get anymore of these kind of clothes. i need more clothes 4 sch. ya la, can wear it to sch with a jacket over, but... not tt appropriate la.

for dinner, me n gek went to e small restaurant at taka, opp mos burger or something coz quite a few ppl have said e food there is good, so we decided to check it out! yeah not bad e food, wanna go back there e next time to try their pastas.

have been dinning at cafes n restaurants for e past few days. Cafe Cartel, NYDC......think coz i c too much of nice food while working at TCC le. they tempt me VISUALLY coz of e display. gonna try e food soon. kinda enjoy going to these places coz not only e food look gd, e ambience is v gd for chatting n stuffs.

yeah. with money, u can do things like tt.

so after dinner met up with pei yuan to go dwn to Zouk. yeah, only e 2 of us. e rest of e ppl (both his n my frens) not on 1 la. HACK! though it sounded boring but actually enjoyed my first time there (of coz more ppl would b better la). tts only after a jug of vodka cranberry. coz drunk=high=hack-wat-ppl-thinks. i muz agree with e rest tt e drinks there r damn ex. but its forgiven coz i think it contains more vodka than those i had at Devils. went for e Mambo nite. like e retro songs n those cute action they danced to. tried to follow their action but could catch up with them. =X it was especially hard when e songs r those i have nv heard of, coz i dunno e lyrics!

den went to Phuture. damn cramp. kena stepped on a few times. like e songs. werent as bad as i had tot of rnb.

now i think tt its kinda nice if u club with ur bf coz if feels kinda nice when he tries to protect u n holds ur hand to get through to e other side e room. i used to think otherwise. felt it was damn weird. well, it was only 4 a person like me to think tt way.

n ya, when i was Q-ing up to get e in, e guy who was checking my IC was like " (look at e watch) o.. its ur bday. happy bday!" n after i got in, was waiting to leave my bag at e counter when e rest of e guys were like "who's e bday girl? bday girl! bday girl!" din know how n y they knew about it or wat,den i turned ard. "hey its my bday too today. its his bday too." din really know wat e hack they were trying to do so i juz smiled a bit n walked in. like wat was tt 4... so do i get a free drink or something? hehe

so left e place about 3plus when it closes. n i tot it was kinda early 4 a wed. both of us wanted to wait 4 e morning bus n train coz we cant share a cab at all (1 east n 1 north) so we juz took a cab out back to orchard. den sat at e Mac outside Lido awhile n i suggested walk to Devil's Bar. wanted so much to go in n have a look coz think it closes at 5 if im not wrong, n it was still damn early n damn bored juz waiting. but PY does not satisfy e age requirement. asked him to try to get in, hoping tt they wun check him but he din wan. so we could only sit outside, looking at those drunkards being pulled out by their frens.

later walked back to orchard MRT again n sat outside. took a bus back while he took MRT. sickening thing was tt my bus had to break dwn at Ubi there. -.-

The day b4 had dinner with my aunts n sis at Margaritas. wanted to try something diff so i suggested Mexican food. otherwise i would go 4 Jap like e prev yrs. =D~

kinda enjoyed e food. we had 1 tt we had to wrap it ourselves. there was like e "popiah skin", with few other sauces n beef tt was really tender. btw... tt was e most ex dish of e 3 tt we ordered. $40+. at e end when we got our bill, it was $80+. kinda ex. n my aunt was like saying it wasnt filling, mayb go PW n have hokkien mee. n i told her "we r not suppose to eat until full, but we r suppose to eat until we r not hungry." it wasnt really filling but i think it was alrite. though it was ex but at least we had something diff 4 once rite?

went to PW to collect something. after which we went to have waffle ice cream at Gelare coz it was TUE!!! initially we ordered only 1 large waffle with 2 scoops of ice cream. but after e first 1, even my aunts couldnt help but order another. hehe.

later in e nite, went to meet up with Eric awhile at EP. he wanted to pass me my bday gift. was really suprised tt he had gotten me a pendant from Taka Jewellery coz im not exactly v close to him. tt was like only e 2nd time we met! but hes kinda sweet la.

at least better than sam. was hoping for a happy bday wish from him but he din! even when i saw him online in e morning. nvm, i 'xiao er ke', dun have e right to ask from him anything anyway.

4:37 PM
- I need some1, some thing to call my own, coz tts wat brings meaning to my life -

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Wednesday, April 20, 2005

1.TCC 2.Attica 3.I NT "ang mo" n SPGs!!!

mangaed to get proper slp these few days. lastwk end was working like there is no tomorrow. after my TCC job had to go straight to my next work place. it somehow reminds me of e "qi yue ge tai". so tt was like working for 15hrs non stop. n i had less than 10hrs of slp during tt 4days (thurs-sun), coz by time i reach home n wash up, i could only get 2-3hrs of slp b4 going back to TCC. e last day i couldnt take it n din wanna affect e job further more so i requested to go home early after only 2 hrs of work. -.- yeah n i travelled all e way to HV for tt. but really needa thank e manager for being understanding, n of coz i feel guilty to" "run away halfway".

1. still quite happy working there, the managers take really gd care of us. but e prob is tt i still think e pay is too low. no staff meal. n i have to travel all e way to HV. hai... i dunno wat to do. at this moment i still dun enjoy being a waitress. i hate to serve ppl! i dun mind sales, but f&b is a no no.

2. thurs was my first day of training. since it was a thurs nite, there wasnt any crowd. i can say tt our customers were not more than 10. (they were even outnumbered by e staff) n quite a few of them walked out after walking in for less than 5 mins. e staff were friendly, crappy, n most of e time they were communicating in hokkien -.- . n guys r guys, keeping their eyes glued onto e girls or ang mos tt walked in.

so din do much on e first day, wat i gotta do is get familar with e acoholic drinks so i would know which r e buttons to press when i gotta key them in e system.

o ya, i find David (1 of e heads) damn "shuai". haha. mayb juz normal looking but seems kinda "man" looking to me though he's a little skinny. he reminds me of a HK actor (dunno wat name) who i kinda like, always acting as either a police or 'hei se hui lao da'. another floor staff also not bad. but e 2nd day is when all of e cute guys r working. saw Fion for e frst time, n she is seriously a head turner!

2nd day i was in charge of e entry tix counter. lucky me, i gotta sit down, otherwise i would have had stood e whole day. though its v relax, it was damn boring juz sitting there. n there was 1 part where i made a v stupid mistake n i had to have David come up n help me. i totally 4got tt for Amex card i gotta key in e last 4 digit n not swipe e card. den i din know wat to do n made e ang mo man wait so long. he was like "how long more do i have to wait?!" cursing or not i 4got, n David had to apologize to him n stuff. damn pai seh sia. had to trouble him. *glup =X forgive me pls...

sitting there i get to c alot of funny things n ppl. there was another time i heard from e rest tt a guy grabbed a girl's butt n e manager actually confronted him n asked him to leave. but he somehow din wanna listen, pushed him too n e manager had to "drag" him out. n e guy somehow fell on e steps. at first i tot he was dead drunk or something. blah blah.. n those girls flirting with e bouncers to get free entry or something (coz e 1 downstairs n e 1 upstairs which i was working at had to pay for e entry separately). -.-""" n some guys trying to b funny n stuff. like watever... i dun take these shits.

3rd day get to work upstairs e cashier at e bar with another girl (i so-dun-like e barmaids). this day they had some event going on, had a mini "live band" playing e sax n drum. no singing though. not bad, played some familar songs instead of e usual House music. it was damn bz but i had fun. i hate those who kept ordering drinks from us cashiers (which is something not uncommon), so i try alot not to notice them, but if i do i will juz point at e bartenders.

tt nite my counter we were short of $21 bucks. $10 masters n $11 cash. charged e credit card wrongly but i seriously dunno wat happened to e $11. e other counters were worse, short of above $100 or something, cash or watever im not so sure. n of coz they checked every1.

3. i become so NT them after e 2nd day of work there. [...b continued]

4:13 PM
- I need some1, some thing to call my own, coz tts wat brings meaning to my life -

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Workaholic?

woohoo~ received a call from e pub this morning. going for training tomolo. hai, y din they call me earlier...

they actually asked me to go tonight but too bad... working at Holland Village till 12.30 later. yeah, tts e place TCC posted me to, n its damn far! but, i might or might not ask 4 a transfer.

yesterday was my first day there. din do much though coz in e afternoon its damn quite there. only till e evening den all e "ang mo" come out. n tts when my 1st day of work ends. really nice ppl there. e supervisor was damn crappy, n funny in a way. he briefed us thru e new menu with us b4 we left which i think is really helpful. there will b food tasting next wk! =D~

o yeah, another guy was there his first day too. he's from tp, n i found out tt he is a fren of a classmate of mine. wat a coincidence.

really keen to work behind e bar. but i will have to perform really well b4 i learn how to become a barista. but i doubt so. still not really comfortable being a waitress. (jia you ba!) moreover if i get to continue to work at e pub as a cashier, i dunno how i can concentrate on e TCC job. both bz periods r like at night n on wkends. both schedules r like gonna clash.

n when sch reopens...god.

aahhh!!! gotta really plan my time well if i really do 2 jobs.

5:22 PM
- I need some1, some thing to call my own, coz tts wat brings meaning to my life -

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Monday, April 04, 2005

Jia 事

lunched at pw with dad again b4 going to his place 4 KTV. SHIOK! chatted a little, n he commented tt im not as hot tempered as b4. i used to quarrel with him whenever i go back. well mayb coz im NOT staying with him at e moment.

kinda looking forward to go back n stay. tt is only after he have packed his stuff. i also hope he would actually do some renovation 4 e house, but im so sure if he has e money. even if he can afford it most prob he wun agree to it. my sis is gonna design HER OWN ROOM and he already 'gua gua jiao'. he said "zhuo dao zhe yang mei zuo she meh? gei ren jia kan you zhen yang? lang fei qian. ni du shu jiu hao le, xiang zhe meh duo.' but i told him not only tt, for goodness sake, his house is like shit le lor. moreover tt place juz finished upgrading, e windows and doors are all new. at least u do nicely already u c also feel comfortable rite. wth.

ok... mayb i think too much tt i will b sharing e master bedroom with my sis, but actually she is doing e room 4 herself. -.- like ok.. den i take another room of coz. den where my dad slp? both she n my aunt thinks tt he should slp in e small room which we tot it should b used as a store room. if not in e living room, with his mattress or e foldable bed he have been slping in all these yrs. i juz dun think its rite tt its his house n he dun get a room for himself. ya.. like share room with me? pls... though he is doing shift work, still, i dun wanna slp in e same room with my DAD. even if i do 2 of us should get e master bedroom. y is it tt my sis get to choose? she doesnt own e e house or anything. does she even know we should 'ying shui si yuan'? still, even if i dun agree to e things my dad did.

i juz find tt my sis have been v selfish. always have to do things her way. my dad have spoilt her. as in whenever she does something he do nothing much, until now tt if he wants to stop her, he does not have e ability to do so. those times she acted as if she owned some of e things i needed to use, like e pc. its a small thing, but to me, it isnt. whenever she doesnt need e thing anymore, she will cooly say tt "u can have it". like wth. it made me mad, coz when i asked for something from her, she always 'ju jue'. n when she asks from me, she always dun have to do it more than 5 times. she would use "force" anyway. i seriously dunno wat kind of sis i have. though she have spent some money on me, she hasnt done much as a sis. e other time when she had a fever i took a cab dwn to buy her dinner. like as if she would do anything like tt 4 me. nv once.

i have always think tt my aunts r really bias. mayb i have been rude to them at e v begining, but if i din felt tt way, y would i even have acted tt way? yah.. she may b earning big bucks now, saving alot, unlike me still living off my dad, getting allowances still n needing him to pay my bills (i pay my own entertainment, daily essentials n those extra stuffs k), but who knows next time. they can jolly well wait 4 her to repay them next time.

e more u earn, e more u spend. i cannot agree more on this.

I NEEDA GET A JOB!

who knows, mayb i will cont to stay outside. rent a rm or something.... dun think i can get any frens to stay outside with me. erm..... or...

is any1 renting out a rm or something? contact me.

if i have e ability, i would have moved out n stay on my own already.

i dislike this environment im in now.

i need a change.

i can't wait to grow up and start working.

weird me.

11:08 PM
- I need some1, some thing to call my own, coz tts wat brings meaning to my life -

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Sunday, April 03, 2005

Holiday wk1 - I LOVE THE MARQUEEEE~

Woohoo~ at last got a new template. did some changes to e actual template. kept e pic but created e buttons n e header myself. wanted to do rollover buttons, but when i managed to do tt, it seems tt e buttons wun display e stuff i want to display on e page when clicked. o well... try again some day. n i love the marquee k... i think its really cool with e blog song. tried really hard to make e lyrics coordinate togther with e song. sing along if u wan. haha. actually wanted to have Zhang Jing Xuan's My Way to go with my blog's "theme", but failed to find it, as well as e other songs tt i had in mind, came across this so juz use it first.

MON:
Believe it or not it was e 3rd time i stepped into tamp library in my life, and 1st to actually borrow bks from there. considering tt i have been staying here for e past 8 yrs, tt is like... LONG. e first 2 time either to borrow e toilet or to try and prepare for my O's which was like 2yrs ago.

went for a nite run as usual. ran to expo, along e road which somehow leads to e Changi Airport, and across e bungalows back to Melville. then i would run 2 rounds at e park near my house b4 climbing 8 storeys high back to my house. realised my stamina has improved a little after putting some effort to make this a routine, running at least 3-4 time a wk. i could almost continuously run back w/o stopping. but mayb i should stop climbing e stairs. i think it kinda makes my calves bigger (though it should b working on my thigh muscles since i take 2 steps at a time). mine is like ugly enuff. juz gotta tone up my thighs. =}

TUE:
went to Roxy Square's coffee shop for "Teochew Mui" with my dad b4 going for an interview at Kinokuniya's with my Temasek portfolio containing all my certs(hei hei.. 'pai shang yong chang le ba'..). there were quite a few who went 4 tt. i will have to wait for 2wks then will i receive e gd news. tt is if there is any for me. dun think i will get picked too, coz... i only "read a little"? ya, i actually told tt guy tt. -.-

walked ard a bit and was so tempted to shop. shop as in to actually buy something and not only WINDOW shopping... bought a pair of flip flops. but think i need to get another 1, with a harder base. bleah.

took a bus back with Yong Sheng since he was outside, currently looking for a pt job too (he stays at Melville). cant believe im like toking to him now coz e other time me, and those girls i used to hang ard with, started not toking to him n those who r his khakis now. we were quite pissed about some stuffs tt time. i dun deny tt i din badmouth them a tiny bit when they were bitching too. but i somehow acted more 'dao' than them coz i dun believe in being a hypocrite. i mean, i juz could not do anything like faking a smile whenever i c them. o well, its e past. he trying to b friendly so anything, i m not together with e girls le anyway. alone now. so like how 'dao' can i act rite?

WED:
watched "Robots". it wasnt really as funny as i tot after watching e trailer on tv. mayb i wasnt in e rite mood. bleah. but i really wanna watch a comedy. thinking of checking out "The Pacifier". hmm.. yeah.. i so much wanna rent vcds but e stupid vcd player isnt working, "M-ERROR" like wth is tt. i seriously dunno wat had happened to it. think its my aunt's tentants. they seriously dunno e meaning of "renting out rms". watever. its not my stuff.

THUR:
got Ros to accompany me to go 4 interview at some pubs in Boat Quay. n she actually pulled an 'ah beng' (her bf's fren) along. his actions and e way he walks juz disgust me. i felt so ashame to walk beside him. went to The Penny Black but think it kinda cocked up (he really din call me e next day). coz tt stupid 'ah beng' had to on e mp3 player so loud tt e music could b heard thoughout e rm! and e worse was tt e person had to ask him to lower dwn e vol. great! he muz b thinking this girl cfm 'hao bu dao na li qu'.

next stop was The Attica. really cool place there. din actually got interviewed coz i waited 4 more than 30-45mins n i left after only filling up e form. e other said would get her to call me but i doubt so. e other 2 malay girl actually got interviewed coz think they were going for e waitress position and i was after e cashier position. different ppl i guess. another girl was waiting outside a rm for e accountant too. came back to get her pay. was a cashier too. and she was like saying "u wun wanna stay here for long". hmm...

those places are not exactly my kind of environment, but i juz go for e high pay they r offering. $7/hr. its like how many hrs i work only even if my sch reopens, e amt of money is much more compared to $5/hr i used to get. tt is alot of difference. yeah my fren have a fren working as a waitress at The Attica too. if i get e job at least i have a company. this Fion girl juz graduated her Law course from tp. WOW. really friendly. toked to her a bit thru e phone and gotta know a bit of tt place.

after dinner walked suntec a while b4 heading bugis with Ros and another girlfriend of hers. sometimes its really nice to meet ur fren's frens u know. then when u wanna do stuffs in a big group u know who to ask. i kinda like tt casual handbag at Dorothy Perkins. soft, denim material, 1 i have been looking for. e price is not rite 4 me. yeah i know 'yi fen qian yi fen huo', but now i juz cant afford n dun bare to splurge on these stuff.

bought tt pink (wanted e black 1 actually) glittery skirt i had been eying for a long time at bugis village, n a lime green canvas handbag (enuff of "black" stuff pls). din really dared to buy anything for e past few days while i was in town coz this is e dangerous period when i think i would b wasting my money on junks if i m out shopping alone.

n yeah.. tt "skirt" sales girl is damn friendly, we chatted with her quite a bit. so sweet! n erm.. i dunno y she had to "tickle" my chin when i kinda pout my lips when i failed to 'sha jia' with her. hmm... hey, dun get me wrong, not trying to act cute or anything. coz i know im not cute at all. even if i try to.... bleah. failure sia.. haha.

FRI:
Suki buffet. waited so long for it but din enjoy as much as i did b4. suprisingly i took only 2 plates from e belt n e rest was from e tepanyaki corner. e seaweed was so-not-fresh alrite. wondered how long have e sushi(s) been on e belt 4. =}

later went for e Anderson's ice cream interview. -.- ... alot of ppl were there too. mg... pls call me back next thurs with gd news... =}

wanted to go drink too for a long time but too bad, eric called me only after i have reached home. was too lazy to go back to bugis again.

WKENDS:
din do much. tv. slp. and i cant stop eating. bleah. watched An Interview with a Vampire, Miss Congeniality (instead of 'Xiang zuo zou, Xiang you zou') n a little of Miss Singapore. i muz comment tt some of e girls' smiles r so damn fake tt they make me wanna puke. =P~

10:13 PM
- I need some1, some thing to call my own, coz tts wat brings meaning to my life -

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